Revive the Emperor
by Admiral T. DeVanto
Summary: The journey to restore Lelouch was not without its struggles. C.C lost a part of her warlock, and she was determined to get him back.


C.C would outright own up to being a selfish person. In fact, many people had called her out for being selfish, and she would agree with their accusations. To deny the accusations would be to deny herself. She was by no means selfish by nature, but she could be selfish in the cruelest of ways.

Such as denying someone their time in the afterlife.

She could say that bringing Lelouch back was all for her selfish reasons. She had accepted it a long time ago that Lelouch was someone special to her. Her rare tears were shed on the day of his death. However, she had brought him back to the land of the living.

She had been successful bringing him back. And...she had failed in restoring him.

Looking into those dead eyes, she had to wonder if this was really a life for him. Just because Lelouch was with her in the physical form, did that mean he was really alive?

He would not have wanted this. He would not have wanted to be reduced to a helpless husk with nothing but the form of his body to tie him to the living world.

Still, she was selfish, and she brought him back. To live. With her.

Except he would not live with her. She knew that. Lelouch's one true love in life was Nunnally. Thinking of the sweet girl caused C.C to smile.

Nunnally had been Lelouch's reason for living, his reason for fighting. When everything else fell apart for him, his passion for his sister kept him going. Even when Nunnally turned her back on Lelouch with the world, he still fought for her.

He even died for her.

Yes, C.C knew that if, when, Lelouch regained his full self, he would go back to his sister. He would go to be by her side because that was what would make him happy. That's all that C.C wanted; was for him to be happy because Lelouch deserved nothing else but happiness for all that he had done.

C.C was a selfish person, but she was not so selfish as to keep Lelouch from his sister. Not even death could separate them.

* * *

C.C had to wonder if she had just managed to drive over every single rock on the road.

After another jostle on the road, she gripped the steering wheel and grit her teeth in annoyance. Many cases and bags jostled around in the back, and she glanced in the rearview mirror to see Lelouch's limp form collapse into a bed of pillows she had set around for him. She spared another precious moment focused on that still form before re-focusing her gaze on the road in front of her. Only until she was on a straight path in the road did she look back at Lelouch.

He had yet to move.

Her gold eyes narrowed. Pulling over to the side of the road, she stopped the bus and unbuckled her seatbelt. Turning in her seat, she arose and approached the still figure.

"Lelouch," she gently said. Resting a hand on his thin shoulder, she squeezed him. "Are you hungry?"

Heavy breathing was her only response.

She sighed. Whether Lelouch said he was hungry or not was irrelevant. He did not possess the means of telling her when he was hungry or thirsty. Instead, it fell upon C.C to determine when Lelouch should eat or drink.

C.C got up and reached over to pull out one of the many bags of food she had packed. "We'll be stopping soon. I promise. We'll be in a nice hotel and I can make you some proper food." 'Nice' was probably stretching it since she was limited with her money, but she was willing to settle down for a few days and get Lelouch out of this cramped bus.

Lelouch did not respond, as if he didn't hear her.

C.C sat down in front of him. She held out the cracker. "Here Lelouch. Take it."

Lelouch's dull eyes blinked in confusion before slowly trailing down to the cracker she held out for him. With slow movements, he took the cracker and held it between his two fingers.

C.C sat back. "Look. Watch me." Taking her own cracker, she bit into it.

Lelouch merely held his cracker before placing it in his right palm. His fingers twitched before enclosing around and crumbling the treat into small, scattered pieces.

With a sigh, C.C opened up another bag. This time, she guided Lelouch's face to watch her. His eyes stared at her; his mouth slightly parted as he watched her movements. "Lelouch," she said, keeping her voice steady and clear. "Watch me." Taking another bite into her cracker, she chewed her food and swallowed, despite not feeling hungry. "Your turn."

This was the constant process. She had never seen Lelouch so helpless. She had seen him at his darkest moments and at his lowest point. But this was a different level that C.C was unaware how to deal with.

"We will get some real food," she promised. After Lelouch had finished three crackers, she helped him drink his water. She had to help him with everything now. Her heart, yes, she had a heart, ached to think that this is what her warlock had been reduced to.

"Lelouch?" she asked, noticing his blank stare focused on her. With hesitant hands, she reached out and touched his shoulder. "Are you alright?"

But he didn't answer her. He never did. Not once had she heard his voice. Instead, he blinked and lowered himself down next to her. Lelouch just rested his head on her lap and went still. His breathing became heavy, and his lifeless eyes finally closed. C.C ran her fingers through his raven locks.

Alright, she could spare a few minutes.

* * *

She noticed that he likes playing with the kaleidoscope she had found. She had smiled when she saw his interest in the small toy. Finally, she was doing something right.

"Do you like that?" she asked. "It's pretty inside."

Lelouch only continued to stare into the device. No doubt, the swirling colors were fascinating and calming to him. She was more than happy that, in this bleak existence of his, that he had found something worthwhile to him. She wondered if the Lelouch she knew would even spare a moment to marvel at the brilliance of the kaleidoscope. She had noticed that Lelouch would take the time to cherish the small precious things in life, those moments were rare and fleeting.

But this moment, sitting in the back of a cramped van, Lelouch was stealing time away with his new toy.

She was pleased and she hoped that he was happy, however small it may be.

* * *

Lelouch was always prone to outbursts. Sometimes, his outbursts would lead him to lashing out on someone and inflicting harm, but those outbursts were always followed by his feelings of regret. However, this time was different. Usually, C.C could predict whenever Lelouch was teetering toward an outburst and she would act however she saw fit. But now, she could not predict what set him off, nor was she familiar with how to calm him down.

C.C pulled the curtains back, despite her initial wishes to keep the curtains drawn and avoid further detection from any unwanted passersby. Lelouch was a very infamous person, and there was a good chance that anyone would be able to identify him if he was seen.

But the sunlight brightened up the room, and C.C felt her mood lighten up considerably. She allowed herself a few stolen moments of feeling the sun's rays on her face before turning back to focus on the lunch she was preparing.

Startled shouts and screams caught her attention. C.C's eyes widened as fear clenched her heart. Had they been found out? Did someone recognize Lelouch?

"Lelouch!" she shouted, rushing from the small kitchen and hurrying forward. Her steps faltered for but a moment when she saw Lelouch shaking. Lelouch's horrified cries only increased when he saw her. For the first time since she had brought him back, C.C saw blind fear in his dead eyes.

With a shout, Lelouch scrambled away before clawing at the couch. Staggering up, he blindly ran to the door.

"Lelouch!" she shouted. "What are you doing?" Her disbelief only grew as Lelouch ran out and stumbled over the steps.

C.C sprinted after him and grabbed ahold of his arm. "Lelouch, listen to me!" she shouted. "You have to calm down!" What was happening? Was he hurt? How should she handle this?

Lelouch's struggling only increased, as did his shouting's. Words remained lost to him and C.C felt pity for the pitiful sight that Lelouch was now reduced to.

"Lelouch, wait-" she was cut off as Lelouch struck her across the face. Her shock was so evident that she let go of him. Her quivering hand touched the spot that Lelouch struck her and she flinched, not because it hurt, but that he had actually hit her.

The few people who were out were staring at the spectacle, but C.C could care less at the attention they were now receiving. Overcoming her shock, C.C scrambled up after Lelouch and ignored the pain in her knee where she had collided with the steps. Lelouch had only succeeded in crawling a few feet away from her before she collided into him.

This time, she ignored his thrashing and hitting. She blocked out his frantic screaming and instead forced him down to the ground. That was no easy effort. Even with his memory gone, Lelouch was still strong. Using her arms to wrap around him, she pinned his arms to his sides and used her full body weight to drag him down. She only meant to sit up with Lelouch, but his struggling sent her falling to her back. She still would not let go. Wrapping her legs around his, she did what she could to hold him still.

"Lelouch," she whispered in his ear. "It's alright.

His cries subsided and his body shuddered. He fell limp, and C.C allowed herself a sigh of relief. She remained still, her arms and legs tense around him. Finally, she relented and sat up with him.

"Come on," she said, rising up and bringing him with her. "Let's go inside." With her arms around his shoulders, he followed her without question, and it terrified her. If he could not think for himself, what would he do without her? It would be so easy for someone to take him away from her and harm him. Did he even know what was right and wrong?

This shell of him was like the facade of Lelouch giving up. This Lelouch had no meaning to go on living. He had no reason to live.

She would give him that reason. He would have his sister, the very reason why he became Zero and the Demon Emperor. In this world of peace he had created, he did not need to be any of those things but a big brother to his little sister.

She had just closed the door to their small room when Lelouch fell against her and onto the floor. She knelt down right next to him and simply held him.

The pot in the kitchen had boiled over. Her shirt was dirty. Her scraped knee was already healing despite the droplets of blood trailing down her leg. But Lelouch was now calm, still trembling in her arms, yet he had ceased struggling.

She rocked back and forth in the hallway, still holding onto him. "It's alright," she soothed, running her hand through his hair. "It will be alright." She did not know if her whispers of comfort were falling in deaf ears, or if Lelouch was actually hearing her voice and her words. But she needed to speak anyway, even if what she was saying was a lie.

She did not know if she was comforting him, or herself.

* * *

"We will be leaving today," she said. Her voice was the only sound in the room. Lelouch would not move, nor would he speak. But a small part of C.C wanted to believe that he acknowledged the sound of her voice.

She reached out and touched his hair, noting that it was getting longer. She faintly wondered if she should cut it, but recalling his recent outbursts, she discarded the idea. If Lelouch were to have an outburst, then she did not want to risk hurting him with the scissors. She had not struck out or yelled at him, but she feared what his unpredictable nature would do if she unintentionally hurt him. Besides, he might be unrecognizable to others if his hair was slightly longer.

"Your hair is getting in your face," she said, pulling it back with a flimsy hair tie. Frames of his dark hair fell across his face, but the majority of his hair was pulled back. "There. Now I can see your eyes."

Lelouch merely blinked.

"What should we watch today?" she asked as she flipped through the channel. She turned the TV on to the news where Milly was currently speaking. C.C glanced at Lelouch, watching for any sign of recognition at the sight of one of his oldest friends. But his stare remained as blank as ever.

She set the remote down, careful not to make too much noise as she moved. She passed by and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder before moving to the kitchen where her notes were. These days, her thoughts were accompanied with Lelouch's caregiving and finding a thought elevator that could bring them to C's world.

She glanced back at the room where Lelouch was. He had yet to move and she could not tell if he was still watching Milly on the screen.

Her shoulders slumped, not in defeat but in wariness. Had she been like that? Was she that helpless when she had lost her memories? Did Lelouch feel the same sense of responsibility over her as she now did for him? Granted, she could still function when she had lost her memories and she was not in such a helpless of a state as Lelouch now was. But she could not help but wonder if Lelouch had ever felt so unprepared with dealing with someone he knew, and yet someone he did not.

She left the kitchen, carrying her notebook with the routes and planned destinations to get to the thought elevator. Settling down right next to Lelouch, her shoulder brushed up against his.

Nothing. Not even a blink of acknowledgement.

* * *

Even when their bus broke down, she would not let despair grab a hold of her. Lelouch needed her, and she would be of no use to him if she broke down. But the thing was...she had never felt so detached from reality in her entire life. Nothing mattered to her. Even when they could not get new means of transportation, fine, they'd walk.

As she carried only the necessities on her back, she felt as if she was carrying Lelouch too.

But that was fine. She had nothing else left to lose except for the very person she was trying to restore.

They survived. They had trekked for miles before finding an affordable place to stay. She had never been more relieved than to rest her aching feet. Her clothes were dirty, she was hungry, she smelled, and she needed a bath.

But first, she had to tend to Lelouch.

She helped him out of his jacket. She guided him to the small sink in the cramped bathroom and washed his hands and face. The dirt of the road was removed to reveal his smooth skin. C.C allowed herself to stare at him for a moment. If it weren't for his blank eyes, she would have thought he was really here with her.

Discarding the washrags, she brushed his hair. It wasn't the first time she had to help clean him up. The roads were merciless, especially when traveling on foot.

She guided him to sit down in front of the TV. She remained alert for any signs of weariness from him. If she was affected from the long walks, then he must be too.

She decided that a good lunch was in order for them. Setting to work with the cooking helped her take her mind off of things, and she could keep an eye on Lelouch for the most part.

Lowering the gas on the stove, she stirred the soup. "There, all done," she said. "Would you spread out the sofreh, Lelouch?" When she received no response, not like she was expecting one, she turned back to the small living room. Her eyes softened at the sight of Lelouch laying down on the floor.

She approached him. "You did it before, remember?" Getting Lelouch to do things on his own without help was now challenging, but when he did do something, it felt like an accomplishment worthy of celebration.

Her gaze focused on the news, and she grabbed the remote and changed the channel to something a bit more friendly and lighthearted. She did not need Lelouch to watch the news about the kidnapping of his sister. Such thoughts would surely cause him to spiral down into an even worse mentality.

Grabbing a blanket, she spread it out on the floor. "We'll have a picnic," she said with a smile. "I'm sure you're hungry, right?" She set the food down on the blanket in front of him. "You can eat whatever you like." She took a plate and began serving him. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched as he picked up a dumpling and clenched it in his hand.

She saw how his eyes widened in fear as his hand tightened around the dumpling. Whatever he saw, it garnered another reaction from him. With a startled shout, he tossed the dumpling away and scrambled back, screaming.

C.C was up and running towards him. "Hold on! Calm down!" She tried to grab his arms. "It's alright!" She could not chase away whatever he was seeing in his desolate mind, but she could be there for him.

Her words were cut off as Lelouch threw her back and sent her staggering into the food she had so carefully prepared. Feeling the warm soup soak through her clothes filled her with broken disappointment, and a small moment of anger filled her. After she had worked so hard to care for him, to be there for him, this is what happened. Lelouch's screams only fueled her ire. But she could not get angry over something Lelouch could not control, and soon, pity filled her with at his hopeless cries. Pity and guilt. How could she feel this way when he obviously needed her?

Picking herself up, she walked down the halls where Lelouch was struggling to open the doors. This time, she had been prepared and taken precautions. The doorknobs were tied shut with strings. As Lelouch attacked the doors with his fists, his cries softened. He gasped, his body slumping in tired defeat.

C.C slowly approached him and knelt down by his side. Placing her hands on his shoulders, she pulled him close.

"Take it easy," she soothed. "There's nothing here to be afraid of. Nothing that can hurt you." Because she would never let anything torment him. She would get him through this because he could not do it himself. As Suzaku had once said, she would be his shield.

She wrapped her arms around him, feeling his frail body press up against hers. "I know, I'll make you some warm milk. With lots of honey in it."

* * *

Sleep eluded her. How could she rest when she needed to do something such as restoring Lelouch to his former devious self? As she watched Lelouch sleep, she wondered if he had dreams. If so, were they peaceful? If he did dream, then they must be peaceful considering that he would sleep through the night without any incidents.

With the sight of potential threats outside the window, her golden eyes narrowed. Her heart stirred within her as a fierce protectiveness filled her. Pulling the curtain back to hide the bed Lelouch was sleeping in, she grit her teeth. She would defend her warlock, just as he had defended his witch.

She withdrew her gun and prayed that she would not have to use it. She prayed that those guards outside were not here for her and Lelouch. But if they were...then that's why she had her gun.

A flare outside brightened the rooms, and she tensed up.

"I'm begging you," she muttered. "Don't drag us into this." A soon as she spoke, the door was blasted open. She did not even hesitate to shoot into the dust despite not knowing who she was shooting at.

It didn't matter. She knew who she was protecting.

Her gun was blocked with a dagger, and a flash of red hair caused her to blink in surprise at the familiar face of Kallen.

Shock and relief filled her at the presence of an old comrade.

* * *

Once again, Lelouch was dragged into dealing with the world's troubles. But she knew that, even if he had his memories back, Lelouch would not hesitate to go after Nunnally.

She could not say that she didn't enjoy seeing the shock on Kallen's face when she saw Lelouch. But the sorrow the red-head bore when she saw the state he was in filled C.C with regretful understanding.

He had fallen out of bed during the skirmish outside. No doubt because of the loud fighting and gunshots. She was just relieved that he had not rushed out of the room and instead cowered in the corner. He was holding onto Cheese-kun, which she did not mind. If it could bring him comfort and a sense of security, then she would allow it.

But the kidnapping of Nunnally and Suzaku was the least of her worries. Right now, her main priority was Lelouch. Kallen and the others were more than willing to lend their help in restoring their former leader. It would make the trip to the thought elevator quicker than she could ever have hoped for. She felt as if they were closer than ever before to bringing Lelouch back.

That didn't mean that Kallen, Lloyd, and Sayoko were going through with this without some explanations. The ride to the thought elevator was somewhat tense for her as she gathered her thoughts on how to best explain how and why Lelouch was in the state he was in.

While Lelouch played with his kaleidoscope, she held onto Cheese-kun. Now, it was her source of security. The chances of gaining success in her mission had increased with the presence of Kallen, Lloyd, and Sayoko.

Recalling how she had reconstructed Lelouch brought up old memories she thought she would never have to uncover. Her face betrayed no emotions even as her mind reminded her how bad of a condition Lelouch's body was in. She had left out such details. There was no reason Kallen and the others needed to know them.

Throughout her explanation, she tended to Lelouch, adjusting his drinking cup and the pillow he was propped up against. She attempted to wipe his cheek, but he moved away with a protested whine, more focused on his toy. Maybe the bright lights in the kaleidoscope brightened his world in way nothing else could.

She understood Kallen's anger and hurt in this situation. After believing Lelouch to be dead, she was presented with the empty shell of his body; the broken parts of what he once was. Though C.C's voice remained calm, she was irked that Kallen had even thought that she would leave Lelouch in this pathetic state. She was not that cruel as to do such a thing.

When she put Lelouch in that straight-jacket, she whispered soothing words to him and touched him on the shoulders. It wasn't the first time she had dressed him in this state, and it was not the first time she had restricted him in a forceful manner. But still, she felt bad about this and knew he would panic at the slightest of things. The Lelouch she knew would feel slighted at such coddling, but this was not the Lelouch she knew. Not yet.

He let out a small gasp when she restricted his arms, but she only stabilized him. "It will be alright," she said. Placing a small kiss on his forehead, she prepared her own prison outfit. Of course, the plan that Lloyd and Sayoko came up with was simpler than what she was putting together, and she couldn't be more grateful for the help.

More help meant one step closer to bringing Lelouch back.

Confiding in Kallen that bringing Lelouch back might not work was difficult for her. Of course, she had considered the possibility that her plans and hopes might be futile. Still, she had pressed on before just as Lelouch would press on during his rebellion. Hadn't they all clung to that one glimmer of hope even when the odds were against them? Why should this be any different?

That hope she held onto was enough for now.

That hope seemed to grow when they entered the lower block of the prison.

Lelouch was afraid. C.C could not deny that even her heart was beating erratically. Beside her, Lelouch was twitching nervously, worried and incoherent murmurs coming from him even as Kallen gave him an encouraging nod. C.C focused on the agenda. They may be closer than ever before, but they were not at their destination just yet.

But they were close.

* * *

Standing before the thought elevator, she reached out for his hand, more to comfort him than herself.

But she would not deny that she wanted the reassurance that he could not give.

He looked at her with such an innocent and confused expression. "Relax," she assured him. "We are going to put an end to you being this way this time for sure."

She hoped.

If not, she would have to witness his death all over again.

* * *

She was annoyed. That was it.

She was annoyed that, even in death, Charles still sought Lelouch's destruction.

And now, she just might lose him to death once more.

She did note that Charles was a lot like his son. He refused to give up. That stubbornness must be a family trait of theirs.

But no matter. C.C could be just as stubborn.

"Listen to me Charles. Stop holding on and let Lelouch go free. Please!"

She never imagined that in trying to restore Lelouch that she might have to watch his destruction before her very eyes.

As his frail body was thrown amidst the fray of lost souls, his terrified screams resonated within her and filled her with terror. Desperately, she reached out for him.

"Lelouch! We have to get out of here!"

Her efforts were not enough, for she awoke alone in the temple.

* * *

He was not with her.

She had failed.

The pain of the bullets shooting through her body was nothing compared to the pain in her heart. She did not even struggle as she was shot.

"This is a dead end, isn't it?" she whispered. All her efforts, all her hopes, led her to this fruitless end.

"No. It isn't. That is incorrect." It was a familiar voice, one filled with arrogance and calm cunning.

Disbelief filled her. Did she dare to hope?

"This reminds me of Narita, C.C. You got hurt trying to cover for me then too."

She looked up, past the pain and past the hesitant hope, and saw the white figure standing not too far away. Raven hair framed his sharp features, and violet eyes that shimmered with true deviousness narrowed. With the cocky, relaxed posture only a true emperor could possess, Lelouch smirked down at her.

"You may not be able to die, but you shed your blood too readily."

Everyone else was confused, fearful, and even standing in awe at the new arrival. But C.C...C.C could only withhold the uncharacteristic laughter of triumph bubbling up inside of her.

He was back. Her warlock, the Demon Emperor, was back.

* * *

Not even an hour of coming back to his full self, and Lelouch was already barking out orders.

He schemed. He plotted. He used every dirty trick he had at his disposal. He was pompous, egotistical, and overconfident. Even when the unexpected, the _impossible,_happened, he still did not give in when he should have.

Because Lelouch vi Britannia did not know how to give up.

Yes, he was back. He was her Lelouch. He was Zero. He was the protective brother dead-set on getting his sister back.

It was only a matter of time until he left her side. But she was alright with that. As long as Lelouch was alive and happy, then she was satisfied.

For Lelouch was only ever truly happy when he was with his sister.

She had tried to convince Kallen to talk to Lelouch in case there was anything she would have liked to say to him. However, Kallen had turned the question around on _her_and asked if there was anything, she would have needed to tell Lelouch, and questioned if C.C's immortality was causing her to put things off.

But what Kallen had said was true. C.C did put some things off when she didn't want to deal with them. Was she putting things off? Was she putting off what she wanted to tell Lelouch? That she had come so close to giving up so many times, even before their paths had even crossed? She had searched for so long for that small bit of light, that fragment of hope. Even then, she would not let go of that phantom fray of hope when she struggled to bring Lelouch back. Her desperation of journeying for hope left her desolate, but she never gave up.

Even then, she wouldn't have given up on Lelouch because she knew that he would never have given up on her.

But could she really dump all of that on him? Should she even reveal that to him?

Did she...did she tell him that she didn't want to be alone? That she didn't want to travel this immortal road by herself?

C.C was a selfish person. She owned up to it, in fact. Lelouch would call her a self-centered person for bringing someone like him back from the dead without asking. In that case, yes, she was very self-centered and selfish.

But she could never be that selfish as to deny Lelouch his happiness. And his happiness...was to be with Nunnally. Lelouch would stay with Nunnally. His heart belonged with her. He would be happy living with Nunnally, and that was all C.C wanted.

She could not ask him to stay with her when he could be happy with Nunnally.

So, she put it off and stayed quiet.

* * *

"_My name? Well, taking it from Lelouch Lamperouge, how does 'L.L' sound? It has a ring to it."_

_She stopped. _

_She stared. _

_She could only stare in disbelief. Such simple letters that held such meaning. He was willing to stay by her side and to be with her. He was staying with her. He chose to stay with her. _

_She could only smile. _


End file.
